


Starlight, Star Bright

by luftballons



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M, Starlight Celebration (Final Fantasy XIV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28292136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luftballons/pseuds/luftballons
Summary: Aymeric reflects of Starlight celebrations of years past. The more things change, the more they stay the same, and he find that even in their darkest hours there is always room to hope for something nice at Starlight.
Relationships: Aymeric de Borel/Estinien Wyrmblood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Starlight, Star Bright

**I.**

The first Starlight Aymeric can remember was magical. It stood out so strongly in his mind because it was the first night he’d had ever been allowed to stay up so late, even after twelve bells rang out. It had been cold that Starlight, they’d all bundled up in warm clothes as they’d walked to the cathedral, joined by their countrymen and women. Of course, the cold was nothing compared to the blighted frost they have to deal with now, but at that age it felt colder than anything he’d ever encountered before, especially at that hour. And the walk had seemed especially long that night, each step in the dark both exciting and scary. It had been so strange to see everyone awake at such a late hour, too, as if it were midday and everyone was going to the market.

The cathedral had been packed, full of eager voices chatting amongst themselves. They’d gone early to get a good seat so that they could see the priests. Aymeric sat between his parents, not tall enough yet for his feet to touch the ground while he sat in the pew. He’d never felt so much energy in the church all at once. Usually mass was solemn and quiet, but there was a real excitement buzzing in the air. He asked what everyone was so excited about but his parents told him to wait and see, to listen and pay attention. Better to find out for himself than spoil the surprise of the evening. Even as he started to feel overly hot in his winter clothes with so many bodies in the room, growing restless.

And then, at once, the room fell quiet. It wasn’t one of the normal priests who addressed them but the Archbishop himself. Aymeric’s eyes had gone wide with wonder, even at that age he knew well how important it was that the Archbishop was addressing them. When the Archbishop spoke, everyone was so enthralled with his words. And although Aymeric had heard the stories of Halone many times before that night, it was the first night that he felt he had actually understood them. It seemed no surprise, that night, that the Archbishop was their leader. He felt so lucky to think their country was united under such a captivating man, and surely everyone else felt it with the reverence they paid him.

After the service, they’d gone home and had tea and desserts. They tasted all the better for the magical experience they’d shared. His parents presented him with gifts, too, but those he hardly remembered anymore. No, far more important was the rest of the night. The time he spent with them, and the time he’d spent in the church.

**II.**

In the military, Starlight had been a strange affair. Even on the front, they couldn’t forget to keep up with their religious duties. After all, how should they triumph against the dragons if not for Halone’s help? But the men and women out on the battlefield had precious little free time. Still, they’d done what they could, gathering around at night and telling tales of Starlight’s past, singing Halone’s praises, and reading verse. Although once he’d become Lord Commander, he would lead in stories, but when he’d first joined he was content to listen. Back then, he was still learning how to deal with the gossip and the way people spoke about him.

The most memorable year did not involve their small gatherings, however. That year, the stories had ended early and the fire had died out but he still felt that same compulsion to stay up past the twelfth bell had seized him anyway, wanting to keep with the traditions he knew so well.

A voice had called out to him while he stayed seated by remnants of the fire, “Bowman!” He’d half-expected it to be a superior officer, but instead it was Estinien, the directionally challenged lancer he’d helped with a bit of a dragon problem. He responded once more that his name was Aymeric, and that it was much easier to just call him that than refer to him by his job. But Estinien didn’t seem to care. That night, he wondered if Estinien might ever learn his name.

In the dark, cold of that night, Estinien sat close to him. He assumed the other soldier just wanted warmth and was too stubborn to light the fire again. Estinien asked him to talk about Starlight, but stopped him when he spoke of Halone. “Tell about the knights with the scarlet coats,” he said. So Aymeric did, and he could have sworn that even Estinien, who was normally so distant and so full of anger, grew a little warmer to hear him tell of the knights that Starlight long ago, who had sheltered the orphan children in their barracks, dressing them in scarlet coats to hide their true identities.

Silently, he gave thanks to Halone that he had been adopted by such a warm, loving family.

**III.**

After the Calamity, Starlight was colder than anyone could remember. Back at home in Ishgard, the effect wasn’t just physical in terms of temperature, it seemed emotionally marked too. The sadness that they’d endured setting into all of them. Although the Archbishop did his best to reassure the people with his words, the feelings lingered and remained.

Some of the knights took to dressing up that year, heading out in scarlet coats after the mass. They gave out what little candies were available. Although Aymeric did not join in the celebration, watching it warmed him. Even in the deepest moments of their sadness, the people of Ishgard found a way to work together.

As he headed home that night he was stopped by a familiar looking knight in a red coat. Though the knight’s long hair was put up under his hat, Aymeric knew full well who it was without having to be told. The knight played his part well, and although Aymeric was not a child, offered him shelter in the barracks.

Warmth rose to Aymeric’s face at the suggestion, and he politely declined. In the years after, he wondered what the knight would have done if he had. Would they have told stories and eventually fallen asleep? Or would the things he was truly afraid of come to pass? No, that wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t that he had been afraid, but Halone help him, what would he have done if his wildest dreams had come true?

**IV.**

After he became Lord Commander, his duties at Starlight had changed. He had a seat close to the Archbishop, both as a figure and a protector. It was markedly different to be near him at Starlight, instead of out in the audience, the sea of people who had come to listen. He felt a swell of pride to know how much the Archbishop could still inspire the people. And another to finally know that man was his father.

Maybe he should have had more of a bitterness about it, after all of those years. That Archbishop was not so holy as to stop him from having an illegitimate son. That his father had not wished to keep him. But he is a grown man and he knows well the power and necessity of forgiveness. And although the Archbishop could have easily made him an orphan, he’d found a suitable family for him. In Aymeric’s estimation, he had done more good than harm given the circumstances.

In those days, even despite his health dose of pragmatism, he’d held a rather large blindspot for that man. An undying optimism, reminiscent of that first Starlight.

**V.**

Each new Starlight is a reminder of how much time has passed, something he is starting to see as both a blessing and a curse. Rebuilding Ishgard is not an easy task and so although it breaks his heart that he cannot see the Warrior of Light this year, he can send only a card and his prayers for their safety. How he would have liked to simply abdicate duty for one evening and fly to Gridania to watch them save Starlight...truly, a story for the ages.

But the repairs and the work do not take a break for Starlight, and this year feels markedly different. Without the Archbishop, no one is quite sure what mass might look like, and even the priests seem uncertain how to handle the whole affair. Aymeric for his part declines to attend services at the Vault, which is too full of memories this year to associate anything good with it quite yet, opting to attend a quieter service at Saint Reymanaud’s Cathedral.

The energy is quite different here, with the students of the Scholasticate running about. They, too, had seen their share of recent troubles and unwelcome truths, but they seem all the more determined to make it right, having decked out the entire Cathedral in reds and greens. The church usually frowned on the intermingling of Halone with the rest of the Starlight Festival, but here the two things came together quite nicely. And although he had hoped to get through the whole affair with relative anonymity, he has no such luck and finds himself besieged by a kind but enthusiastic young Elezen who talks to him about philosophy for much of the lead up before mass. But he doesn’t mind, it’s good to see that the next generation is as eager to see Ishgard rebuilt as his own.

**VI.**

When he at last returns home, late into the evening and hoping for some tea and pastries undisturbed, he is greeted by a visitor. Not outside his home, no, that would’ve been proper. But much like the Saint who magically appears in homes to deliver gifts, who should be waiting in his living room except for the Azure Dragoon, Estinien Wyrmblood?

“Aymeric,” he says simply, although it does not answer any of the questions presently writing themselves on Aymeric’s face. Not that Aymeric expects him to. Like a coeurl, Estinien did what he pleased and came and when as he wished.

“Estinien,” Aymeric responds, barely breathing. It has been so long since he last saw this man. Not since he unceremoniously left their mutual friend with him to take care of, only to leave again barely saying a word. And before that...before that, he’d left without so much of a goodbye. And so while he does not doubt that Halone has given him the gift he dared not even wish for this year, he treats it like the precious, ephemeral thing that it is. He knows not how long he’ll have Estinien’s presence.

“Happy Starlight.” Estinien says it like that explains everything, and then he rushes forward like he’s going in for an attack, only to press a forceful but chaste kiss to Aymeric’s lips. Aymeric’s eyes widen in surprise at first, but then he relaxes, closing his eyes and reciprocating, kissing him back but not bringing his hands up, scared to touch him.

When he opens his eyes again, Estinien is gone but the warmth in his chest remains well into the cold night.


End file.
